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Butterscotch's Adventures in Equestria Part 3 starring Butterscotch Sundae and some magical little ponies, including a certain Princess of the Moon

Together Pinkie and I hurried over the surface of the moon towards Luna's castle, the glittering golden sand puffing up with each step we took. We soon left the field of polished black glass behind us, but even so, the castle still seemed an awfully long distance away.

"I thought Princess Luna wasn't on the moon anymore," I said. "Did something happen between her and Princess Celestia again?"

"Oh, Princess Luna doesn't have to stay here, silly!" laughed Pinkie. "She just feels more comfy here than in Equestria." She brought her mouth close to my ear and whispered conspiratorially. "Just between you and me I think she's still a teeny bit embarrassed about that whole 'Nightmare Moon' thing!" When Pinkie said 'Nightmare Moon' her eyes went wide and her face was lit from below like that of an actor in a B-grade horror movie.

"Well, that makes sense," I replied. She had threatened the whole of Equestria with Eternal Night after all. I guess I'd be a little concerned about the reception I'd receive as well!

"Wait, I'm making sense?" Pinkie gasped. "Oh no! Don't tell me I'm losing my Pinkie Pie Powers!"

I patted her on the withers – I was going to pat her on the head, but I thought it might come across as a little condescending. "Lose your powers? Are you crazy? I don't think it's even possible, Pinkie Pie!"

Pinkie sighed in relief. "Oh thank oatmeal for that!" But then we heard the sudden pealing of a bell coming from the slender castle far ahead of us, and it was followed by happy cheers that floated across to us distinctly through the rarefied air of the moon.

"Oh great galloping gumdrops!" cried Pinkie. "We're super late! Luna's going to be sooooooo disappointed if we're not there for her grand entrance!"

I looked down at my legs. "I'm sorry, Pinkie," I said, downcast. "I kept you too long in the human world and now my stubby legs are slowing us down as well!"

A sudden light-bulb of an idea lit up above the little pink pony's head. "Of course! Oh, Pinkie, you can be such a smarty-pie sometimes!" And without delay she trotted behind me and slipped her head between my legs.

I went red, and tried not to laugh as the top of her snout rubbed up against a most sensitive area. "Uh, Pinkie – wait. What are you…?"!

But the little pink pony had already gotten herself further underneath me, and lifting her neck she raised me up off the ground until I slid down onto her back with a yelp.

"Oh sorry! Did you bruise your little rump?" She looked back at me in concern as she broke into a trot. "I just realised that if I gave you a pony-back ride we can both go at my Pinkie Pie pace!"

And then we were off. The trot turned into a canter, and the canter into a gallop, and then the gallop became some sort of crazy Pinkie-gait which had all four of the little pink pony's legs flashing backwards and forwards in a rapid blur, and within a heartbeat I was holding onto her sweetly-scented mane for dear life as we sped across the desert sands of the moon, leaving a trail of shimmering gold glitter in our wake.

The air flew past my face as we went faster and still faster and then all of a sudden the landscape ahead of us changed – the sand hills flattened out into a field of what looked like silvery-blue flowers.

"Wait, Pinkie!" I cried. "Are those…?"

"Moonflowers!" she replied. "Hold your breath, Connie – the pollen can make you super sleepy if you breathe it in!" Some of it was obviously already blowing towards us since Pinkie yawned hugely, but she shook her head clear and sucked in a huge lungful of air that made her cheeks puff out like a hamster's and I did the same.

As we streaked through the flowers, pollen swirled up in dizzying eddies of blue and silver and it became hard to see clearly. But then, just as quickly as we'd entered the field, we flew out the other end of it and all of a sudden Luna's castle was before us.

It towered into the sky, so tall that its impossibly slender minarets seemed to bend as it arched towards the zenith. We could hear the cheerful sounds of the party more clearly now, and I thought I could pick out a warm Southern drawl and a particularly loud and throaty laugh amongst the clinking of glasses and the babble of voices.

"Wait, is that… Applejack and… Rainbow Dash I can hear!?"

"Rightamundo, Connie Spacepony!" chuckled Pinkie. "Oooh, those teeny-weeny little earsies of yours are good at hearing things, aren't they? AJ and Dashie are at the party – everypony who's anypony is!"

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" I knew I sounded like a brain-dead fangirl, but I was so excited I didn't care. "So, are Twilight and Rarity and Fluttershy there as well?"

"I think so!" replied Pinkie. "I mean, we were all sent an invitation! They were totally gorgeous ones, too! When you opened them up, this beautiful sound of bells played and there was a puff of moondust and Princess Luna's super-adorable voice saying 'You are casually invited to join me for a party in my castle on the moon as belated condensation for your bravourageous efforts in rescuing me from the enslavery of the Queen of Meaniepants herself, Nightmare Moon, and saving the whole of Equestria from the total bummer of Eternal Night!'"

Luna's voice might have been super-adorable, but Pinkie's rendition of the Princess's low, boyish tone was even more adorable still. I was sure the Princess wouldn't have used a made-up word like bravourageous, though, and meanie-pants was pure Pinkie Pie! But then I had a sudden, unpleasant thought.

"But wait, Pinkie! I… I don't have an invitation. Won't the Princess be mad if I just turn up on her doorstep and…"

"Oh Connie, you silly spacepony!" replied Pinkie.  "You should trust your Auntie Pinkie Pie more.  There's no problem at all! The invitations all had 'guest plus one' underneath the 'responders if you please'!"

"So… I'm your 'plus one'?" I asked.


I'm ashamed to say at that very moment I really did squeeeeee, shamelessly and in pure joy.

We were close to the castle now, but Pinkie gave no indication of stopping – in fact, she started to go even faster.

"Wait, Pinkie! Don't you think we're going a bit too fast?" I was sure that if something untoward happened, she would come out the other side absolutely fine – but I was worried about what would happen to my own fragile human body, lacking as it did Pinkie Pie's cartoony rubberiness.

"But we have to go fast!" replied Pinkie, shouting over the sound of the air whistling past our ears. "Otherwise when we hit the wall of the castle we'll crash instead of…."

I couldn't make out the last word. "Wait, Pinkie! Crash? Instead of whaaaaa-!?"

"This!" she cried, and just before we hit the wall her legs flicked out and we actually started galloping up it at a 90 degree angle. My heart was in my throat – I have to admit that I hate rollercoasters, and this was like one of those jet coasters they have in Japan, where it's not just a case of climbing up steep inclines and plummeting down dizzying drops, but zipping straight up so fast that you leave your stomach behind you. That was how it felt to be on Pinkie's back as she galloped up the sheer wall, her little pink hoofsies flying across a sheer, black stone surface that had no obvious place for them to take hold, ducking and weaving past the open windows that at this angle were like yawning black pits beneath us.

I would love to say that I was pumping my fist into the air and screaming "Wooohooo!" while all this was happening, but instead I was clutching Pinkie's mane so hard that I was worried I might be pulling clumps of hair out of the poor pony and my eyes were squeezed shut as I concentrated desperately on not throwing up.

But within moments the sound of the party grew louder and I sensed a patch of light through my eyelids just ahead of us, so I forced my eyes open just at the moment when Pinkie intentionally leapt down into the open window from which the light and noise was emanating – which is to say, we leapt through it, for we'd shifted back into the horizontal, the whole world seeming to rotate around us as we did, making my stomach lurch with vertigo.

And then we were careening through the centre of a crazy swirl of different colours and groups of screaming ponies leaping out of the way as Pinkie found out too late she wasn't able to slow down in time. We plunged through glittering streamers and wreaths of moonflowers, past floating knots of balloons shaped like moons and stars, all shining bright as if filled with moonlight, and tore through a banner emblazoned with the lunar crescent before finally crashing into a table which was covered in bottles of sarsaparilla and apple juice and then into another table upon which was sitting a massive, multi-tiered cake covered in blue and silver icing. This final obstacle brought my crazed steed to an abrupt halt and I flew over her onto the floor with a scream, the impact bringing the cake crashing down upon us and turning the world into a maelstrom of cream and icing and chunks of sponge.

There was a sharp intake of breath all around us, and then a voice I didn't recognise, formal and clear as a ringing bell, cried: "Miss Pinkamina Diane Pie of Ponyville and…. friend!"

I couldn't see anything at this point, for my eyes were full of blue icing, but I quickly wiped it away with my hands to find that I was lying spread-eagled on the ground with Pinkie sitting on her haunches in front of me, licking cream from her face with a long, pink tongue.

And all around us were the remains of a party – a supernova of ripped streamers, torn banners, broken tables, burst balloons, spilt sarsaparilla, atomised sugarcubes, and to top it all off – a splattified cake, some of which was still in my hair and in Pinkie's mane. And standing about use were over a dozen ponies, all dressed in suits and gowns and staring at us in shock.

Pinkie was rubbing her head and looking sheepishly from one to another of the ponies that were present. It was them – all of them! There was Rarity, red-faced and fuming; Applejack beside her, her green eyes wide; and with them I recognised the two Wonderbolts, Soarin and Spitfire – the two Pegasuses were even more striking in person… er, pony. And just behind Spitfire was Rainbow Dash, whose face showed she was struggling to not laugh at her best friend's hijinks; but the same could not be said for Twilight next to her – the purple-coated unicorn's face was one of speechless horror, and there was nothing that Caramel, looking so handsome and elegant in his dark blue dress-blanket and bow-tie beside her, could do to snap her out of it.

I couldn't see Fluttershy – but then I saw the tip of a cream-coloured wing poking out from behind the mighty muscular physique of Big McIntosh. He wasn't wearing his trademark yoke, but rather was looking a little uncomfortable in a dark black suit with a ruffled shirt. His green eyes considered me calmly, and I noticed that the corners of his mouth were curving into the beginnings of a smile. But next to him, a little purple dragon dressed in an adorable miniature coat and tails was smiling – in fact, he started to laugh uncontrollably, and as guffaws which were surprisingly loud for such a little guy exploded out of him, the tension in the room fell away.

It was Rarity who spoke first and so my eyes were straight away drawn to the white-coated unicorn. The formal gown she was wearing, which I recognised as a modified version of her gala dress, was spattered with blue and silver globs of cake, and her beautiful face was livid with barely restrained fury as she took a step towards us. "Pinkie Pie! You! You…. infuriating, uncontrollable, incomprehensible…PONY! "

Applejack was standing beside her, and she gently stopped Rarity from coming any closer by putting a foreleg in her way. "Nah Rarity, no need to git all worked up over spilt sarsaparilla. Ah'm sure Pinkie has a perfectly reasonable excuse fer-" The earth pony looked about at the wreckage of the party and grinned nervously. "-er, everythin'?"

I wanted to say something in defence of the little pink pony who was only late because I'd gotten her silly on sarsaparilla, but once again my voice failed me.  Luckily Pinkie broke the short spell of silence in typical Pinkie Pie fashion. She got up, wiped the remains of the cake off herself as well as she could, then waved and said "Hi everypony!"

I noticed that Twilight was staring at me in curiosity, but her eyes quickly flicked across to the little pink pony, and she frowned as she said "Pinkie Pie, just what is going on? What took you so long? And who's your…?"

"Oh, I'm so super sorry I'm late!" replied Pinkie. "I… uh, I had to … uh," She looked about herself and when she saw me she suddenly smiled and said "…pick up my guest from her place!"

"And just where is that, exactly?" asked Rainbow Dash. She had approached us while Twilight was talking, and was considering me through narrowed eyes. "Miss…?"

"Hay… Hayden," I managed to squeak. "Connie Hayden." Dash was adorable on the computer screen, but up close and in person… er, pony (actually, I think I'll just go with in pony from here on in…) she was actually very intimidating. Her rose eyes flashed dangerously, and her rainbow mane flicked this way and that as she looked me over.

"You're not from around here, are you Connie Hayden?" said Dash. "If that is your real name!

"Wait!" said Twilight suddenly. The whole time she'd kept looking at me in much the same way a scientist would watch a bubbling beaker. "You're a… human, am I right?" I nodded, and Twilight grinned in triumph. "Oh, I knew it! I was just yesterday reading a book about extra-Equestrial beings, and there was a most informative section on humans from the planet – Dirt, right?"

"Dirt?" I asked, confused. "Oh, you mean Earth!"

"Wait!" said Rarity, looking at me as if seeing me for the first time. "She's not some sort of scaleless dragon? She's an… E.E.?"

Twilight nodded. "Yes, she's an extra-Equestrial."

"Ohohohohoh!" Rarity brought a foreleg to her forehead and swooned, and both AJ and Spike stepped forward and caught her before she could fall to the floor.

"Sorry I crashed your party," I said, feeling that an apology was needed for my part in the whole affair – but AJ, still holding onto the unconscious Rarity, just smiled.

"Nah don't let it worry yer none," she said. "Any friend o' Pinkie's is a friend of ours!"

The others nodded, and even Dash seemed a little mollified, because she smiled and said "Well, it's was more Pinkie Pie who did the crashing, and we're all pretty much used to her randomness by now."

"Oh Dashie!" said Pinkie, and she trotted up and pony-hugged her best friend. I couldn't help but notice, however, that Spitfire blinked and her face hardened a little at the sight – but it quickly passed, and soon she was walking up with the other ponies to greet me and help clean up the terrible swathe of destruction that we'd wrought.

But then an elderly unicorn with a blue-coat and a black mane and dressed in an immaculate grey suit stepped forward. He was the owner of the stentorian voice that had announced us when we'd made our grand entrance, and I'd noticed that he'd been standing to one side and watching the proceedings in silence for some time now. He bowed low and then, his lips curling into the non-smiling smile that is the peculiar ability of butlers everywhere, he said "Please do not bother yourselves. You are all honoured guests of the Princess here – please allow me!" And with a clap of his hooves, a number of other unicorn stallions dressed in white shirts and short, black jackets, marched in from one of the many arched doorways that  led out of the hall and, their horns glowing with the purple light of telekinetic magic, they bustled about putting everything to rights. Some pretty unicorn mares joined them, and with numerous hot towels that flew about us like those mops in The Sorcerer's Apprentice from Fantasia, they'd soon cleaned me, Pinkie and the comatose Rarity who seemed to have taken the brunt of the cakesplosion, almost as good as new.

As the servants departed from the room as swiftly as they had come, Luna's butler suddenly reared up on his hind legs, puffed out his chest and boomed "Her most Gracious Majesty, Mistress of the Sidereal Reaches, August Ruler of the Night and Lady of the Moon, the Princess Luna!"

Everypony present fell on one knee, and, looking about uncomfortably, I did the same. Two pairs of earth pony trumpeters dressed in purple and silver livery stepped out of the largest of the archways and put their instruments to their lips and blew a most rousing fanfare as between their ranks the Princess Luna herself stepped out into the room and I struggled to contain a gasp of amazement that sprang to my lips. Luna was taller than anypony else by several hands and as she stepped with a grace and a bearing that was regal but also somehow casual. As she walked through the room nodded to each of us in turn, just like she was greeting old friends, and the smile she flashed at us was sweet but cheeky, like the playful, half-guilty smile of a naughty little boy whose head is full of wholesome mischief and who hopes you haven't noticed all the finger-paint marks on the wallpaper yet.

Luna took her place at the end of the hall under a great arched window that was open to the endless black night sky of the moon and she began to speak. "My dear friends, thank you all so much for accepting my invitation and coming to my party!" Oh, her voice! It was so charmingly incongruous to hear such a low and coltish voice from one who was well over a thousand years old and whose delicately-boned features and graceful gait gave off such an overwhelming aura of feminine power. And there was a warmth and sweet naivety to it that made it all the more unbelievable that standing before us was one who had been such a great threat to Princess Celestia and all of Equestria!

She spoke to each of the ponies present in turn, laughing and chatting and generally making everypony feel completely at ease, although when she finally came to me and Pinkie on the end, I was expecting her to show some surprise or shock at the sudden appearance of a human from the planet Dirt – but if she was surprised, she hid it well, for there was no change whatsoever in her calm and amiable demeanour.

"So you must be Pinkie's friend Connie Hayden?" she asked. "It's wonderful to meet you!" On all fours, Luna's face was on level with mine and the sheer gorgeousness of her smiling face and those huge green eyes with their dark lashes made my heart flutter like my secret crush was talking to me for the first time.

"Connie's a spacepony!" said Pinkie excitedly, and among the rest of the assembled guests I could see Twilight slapping a forehoof to her forehead in disbelief.

"I think perhaps she prefers the term 'human', Pinkie Pie," said Luna with an indulgent smile in the bouncy little pink pony's direction. Pinkie nodded up and down in agreement.

"I… I'm very pleased to meet you Princess Luna," I said, trying to do a curtsy as I wracked my brains trying to remember what a curtsy actually was! "I'm a huge fan of yours – I mean, lots of us on Earth are!"

"Is that so? I'm so pleased!" She smiled widely, and the beatific appearance of that night-blue face with its eyes shut in obvious pleasure made my heart turn over – well, actually it was more like it was spinning out of control like a satellite knocked out of its orbit. "Humans have long been friends to the court of Equestria, although we haven't enjoyed a visit from any of your people for a very long time indeed. Please make yourself welcome in my castle, Miss Hayden – and indeed in all of Equestria. Shall you be staying a while?"

"I… I hope so!" I said. "As… as long as I'm not a nuisance."

Luna laughed, and it was like a universe of tiny bells were all ringing at the same time somewhere above our heads – but then I realised it was the sound of a thousand little bells, the same ones we'd heard from a distance.

"That's the signal for the party to begin!" said Luna to all assembled, and then she turned back to me. "Please enjoy yourself, Miss Hayden, and feel free to stay in Equestria as long as you like with my and my sister's blessing. I'm sure that your little pink friend here will be able to find you somewhere to stay?"

"Oh, Connie can stay with me!" said Pinkie, hopping up and down in excitement. "I've got lots of space in my room at Sugarcube Corner, and my bed is super huge!" She frowned back at her butt with her ears turned back. "Even if that thing does take up a lot of space." But then she perked up again. "I hope you like midnight snacks and random snappings from cute wittle alligators, Connie!"

"Well, I…" The same bed? I blushed and stifled a squee and clapped my hands and felt my heart soar all at the same time. "Oh, yes please!"

Luna chuckled again, and with a clap of her forehooves the party got underway. As all the other guests started talking and being served food and drink levitated to them by the unicorn waiters, Luna brought her head close to mine and whispered "Please join me for tea after the party, Miss Hayden. It's been so long since I've spoken to a human, and I'm sure so many things have happened back in your world since then. Are those awful Crusades still going on?"

"The Crusades?" I said. "Oh, er… no. I think they finished up a while back."

"Oh I'm so glad to hear it!" she said. "Well, enjoy the party – we'll chat later. I do hope you like tea!" And then with a saucy wink of an emerald-green eye she walked away into the party towards where Twilight Sparkle was talking with Caramel. I'd noticed the unicorn darting glances in our direction the whole time we'd been speaking, and the look on her face had been one of curiosity and… annoyance?

But I had no time to muse over that look, as Pinkie straight away slipped her foreleg into the crook of my arm and said "C'mon, Connie! Let's PARTY!"

The party was a delightful fusion between the casual and the formal, much like the Princess Luna herself. Of course, there were pony snacks like sugar cubes and beverages such as sarsaparilla and root beer and apple cider, but as befitted the party of a Princess each the sugar cubes had been sculpted into different shapes – I saw manticores and cockatrices and dragons and all sorts of different beings from Equestria, including dozens I couldn't identify. I popped one of these into my mouth and it dissolved away in a series of amazing flavours – I'm sure I tasted strawberry and kiwi fruit and mangosteen and lychee and any one of a hundred different fruit flavours that changed to another as soon as I decided which one was currently playing across my taste buds – and soon I felt my blood sugar level soar through the roof, and I wondered if ponies weren't all immune to diabetes and perhaps had superfast metabolisms that required such a high calorie diet.

And there were delectable hors d'oeuvres (or perhaps I should say "horse d'oeuvres" – oh, I crack me up! Sorry – I think it's all the sugar!) – vegetarian, of course. Beetling towers of dandelion flowers, candied hibiscus blossoms filled with the most delicious vanilla lemon sorbet (these were my favourite) – the selection was beyond imagining. And as we were eating we were entertained with the music of a quartet – and among their number was a certain elegant, winsome mare with a grey coat and dark fountain of a black mane playing an upright bass.

"Pinkie!" I pulled at Pinkie's foreleg in excitement, and she turned to me with questioning eyes, her mouth so chock-full of every different kind of hors d'oeuvre on offer that her cheeks were puffed out like a hamster's. "Who… who's that mare over there playing the bass?"

"Mfai dfunno," she replied, her voice muffled by the half-masticated treats.

"So she's not your sister?" I asked. "We call her Octavia in the human world. She's very popular."

"Wait. You've been watching us from your world?" Dash had overheard us and broken her own conversation with Spitfire to come over and interrogate me. "So how does that work, exactly?"

I quailed under the sharp glance of her beautiful pale-rose eyes and said the first thing that popped into my head. "Uh… magic?" Saying 'magic' had got me out of a long confusing explanation with Pinkie previously, and I was hoping it would do the same job again. But it didn't have quite the effect I was expecting, for Twilight came trotting up to join us, a frown on her pretty face.

"But there's no magic in the human world!" she protested. "It said so in my book!"

I looked from one set of accusatory eyes to another. "By magic, I mean…" What the hell did I mean, exactly? I gazed about at the gorgeous decorations in this magical castle hall, at the strange and wonderful food, the multi-coloured ponies that filled it. How was it possible that we had a TV show based on the actual history of a real alternate world populated with magical ponies? Unless it was some sort of crazy coincidence, Lauren Faust and the other writers on the show must have somehow gained access to Equestria themselves, either intentionally or by accident. Or maybe this was all just a dream – but I no longer really thought of that as a possibility, since this was like no other dream I'd ever had. This place felt – how could I put it? – more real than any reality I had ever experienced back in the human world. The colours were deeper, the emotions I was feeling somehow stronger, the sounds clearer, the feel of things, the taste and scent of the food and drink far more multilayered. It was hyper-real, as if our own world was somehow a vague shadow or a half-remembered dream.

But as all this was rampaging through my mind as I searched for a reply to Twilight that wouldn't sound like a suspicious prevarication, AJ came to my rescue. "Aw girls, this ain't exactly in the spirit of friendship now is it?" The earth pony turned and looked at Twilight sternly. "Nah Twi, don't you remember when you first came ta Ponyville and certain ponies who shall remain nameless-" She glared at Dash, who looked suddenly sheepish. "-accused you of a bein' a spah?"

Twilight sighed. "I wasn't accusing Connie of being a spy – it's just that it said in the book that-"

"Nah we all know that yer can't trust everythin' yer find in books, right?" said AJ.

"Well, that's certainly true, but-" replied Twilight.

Pinkie's head was swivelling back and forth from Twilight to AJ as they talked, and suddenly she felt dizzy and slumped down onto her bottom.

"What's wrong, Pinkie?" I cried in alarm, lifting her up off the floor.

"I think my blood sugariness is a teeny bit low," she said woozily.

"Well, that's no surprise, darling!" Rarity was conscious again and by her side was Spike, following her like a love-struck puppy dog. "You've barely eaten anything! I guess it must be the excitement of being on the moon, or perhaps it's having such a charming lady at your side."

"Lady? Me?" I helped Pinkie over to the snack table and offered her a sugar cube in the shape a griffon which she licked off my hand, making me giggle.

"Why of course!" said Rarity with a gentle laugh. "Although you could do with a little bit of a fashion makeover. If you're planning on staying in Equestria for an extended period, you should most definitely acquaint yourself with the latest fashions." She trotted about me, and I swivelled my neck around to follower her. "For example, that… dress-blanket you're wearing. I know that in some chillier regions of Equestria, and perhaps on your planet as well, that it's best to cover one's rump and hind legs for reasons of pure utility, but it does detract from the line of your figure." She clapped her hooves together. "Why, you must visit my boutique as soon as we return to Ponyville! I'm sure I'll be able to find a most charming saddle to match those eyes of yours. And perhaps some extensions for that-" She grimaced a little. "-rather short mane of yours?"

"And what's wrong with having a short mane?" said Dash dangerously.

Rarity returned Dash's look of annoyance with one of haughtiness. "Well, a short mane is fine for one whose primary concern is speed and athleticism," she said. "I mean, one could scarcely accuse you of ever dressing in style, Rainbow Dash – present gown excepted, of course."

"Don't you listen to her, Dashie!" Spitfire had trotted up and was now standing beside her. "No need to dress up what you've got going on!" She slipped a foreleg around Dash's waist, making the rainbow-maned Pegasus squealed in girlish delight.

I would have fainted there and then at the sight of the pretty pegasuses messing around with each other and giving me the first confirmation that filly fooling might actually exist in Equestria if I hadn't been distracted by a soft voice floating up from somewhere behind me.

"Oh, excuse me Miss… Miss Connie…" It was Fluttershy. "Can I ask you a question, if that's ok with you, I mean…"

I turned and smiled at the timid Pegasus who was looking up at me with those gentle cyan eyes, and I had to fight the immediate and overwhelming urge to hug her tightly and stroke her gorgeous pink mane. "Oh Fluttershy! I'm so pleased to meet you."

"Oh, thank you," replied Fluttershy, blinking. "And I'm very  pleased to meet you too, Miss Connie. I've never met a human before. Would you mind terribly if I…" She blushed bright red and lowered her eyes, but kept talking. "…if I touchedyourcoatforjustasecond?" The last part came out in an embarrassed rush.

"But I'm not wearing a… oh, you mean my skin!" I held out a hand. "Well, sure. Go nuts!"

Fluttershy timidly brought a forehoof to my arm and touched it gingerly with an "Eep!", but when I didn't bite her, she started to strokes my arm and smiled. "Your coat… I mean, your skin is so soft and… warm," she said in surprise.

"Wait, she's not cold and slimy?" asked Rainbow Dash, overhearing her. She broke away from Spitfire and rushed over to stroke my other arm, and between the two pegasuses I was pushed this way and that as they rubbed me all over – but I was soon rescued by Applejack and Rarity, who interposed themselves between me and my assailants.

"Now darlings, please!" said Rarity. "Surely this isn't the way to treat a new friend – like a, a… plush toy?"

"Yeah," agreed Applejack. "Where're yer manners? Poor Connie hasn't even had a chance ta get herself some proper vittles' yet!"

"But her coat feels so… nice," protested Fluttershy meekly.

Rainbow Dash nodded as she lifted up my arm with a forehoof, offering it to AJ. "Yeah! It kinda feels like a sea-otter's. Give it a try!"

"Uh excuse me," I said, smiling apologetically as I took the opportunity to slip out of her grasp. "I'm just going to get myself something to drink."

I thought that maybe I'd leave the fillies to discuss proper party etiquette and go and talk to the stallions present at the party as well – Caramel was sticking close to Twilight, who was deep in conversation with Princess Luna, but Big McIntosh and Soarin were over near the hors d'oeuvre tables. The blue-maned Pegasus was busily eating the left-over dandelion stacks and nodding while Big McIntosh regaled him with an anecdote of some sort. I slipped over to the drinks table, took a bottle of sarsaparilla, and then tried to discretely insinuate myself into their conversation.

"… but yer need to make sure that you don't add more'thn a couple o' teaspoons of cinnamon to the top o', else the pie ends up just tasting of cinnamon an' nothing else." Big Mac stopped and chewed on the tooth-pick in his mouth that he'd swapped for his trademark hay stalk.

"Mmphph…. I'll definitely hafta try it, Mac," replied Soarin, lifting his head up from the tray with several dandelion petals still stuck to his muzzle. "There's nowhere to get a good apple pie in Canterlot – n' all those donuts get boring after a while. Besides, I need something more substantial to power these bad-boys," He flicked out his wings and pumped them. "You know what I mean?"

Big Mac nodded. "Ah've got a real nice recipe for apple strudel as well if yer want…" But then the red-coated stallion noticed me standing nearby and he blanched, quickly changing his tone and saying loudly: "…an that's how yer buck apples. It's all in th' glutes."

"Glutes? But I thought you were going to give me your… OW!" Big Mac had stepped on Soarin's hoof and the Wonderbolt looked at him in pained surprise, but then he spotted me and he started speaking louder as well. "Oh yeah? Well, I'll hafta work on my glutes, then-" He suddenly and ostentatiously turned in my direction, his green eyes going wide as if he'd just noticed me. "Oh, and is this our lovely guest all the way from the planet Dirt?" He grinned at me winningly and I found myself smiling shyly back at him.

"Earth!" whispered Mac harshly in his ear.

"Oh yeah, Earth!" said Soarin. He took my offered hand in a forehoof, but instead of shaking it he brought it to his mouth and kissed it.

"Hi," was all I managed to squeak out, blushing and – I hate to admit it – even giggling. I don't know if you've ever noticed, but Soarin is a very good looking stallion indeed. His sleekly muscled physique and his rakish mane and striking green eyes glinting with playfulness were definitely arresting. But I soon found my voice again. "Uh, sorry to interrupt you guys but I was kinda getting out of my depth in the whole Equestrian fashion conversation over there."

"Ah understand completely. Please join us," said Mac, stepping aside so that I could stand between the two of them.

"So what brings you to Equestria?" asked Soarin, taking a sip of his sarsaparilla.

"Well, it's a… holiday, I guess." Why was I here, exactly? "I mean, I've always wanted to come here so when I… er, learned of the way how to travel from my world to Equestria I jumped at the chance. I guess I was getting pretty bored back on D… Earth."

Big Mac nodded. "Ah know precahsely what you mean. Sometimes Ah just havta get away from the farm for a spell else Ah'm likely t' go a mite loopy."

I turned to Soarin and saw him looking at my rump intently, but when he realised I'd caught him he just smiled at me in innocence and raised his eyebrows. "So Connie – can I call you Connie?"

"Of course!" I laughed.

"You ever been flying before?"

"Wha… flying? No, never!" I said. "Well, I have been on a few planes in my time, but that doesn't really count…"

"Planes?" repeated Soarin. "But aren't they those big, flat areas like out in the West in Aaaaaaaaaaaaapple-"

"Please don't do that, Soarin," said Big Mac, glaring at him.

Soarin looked suddenly sheepish but I came to his rescue. "Oh, no. P-L-A-N-E short for 'aeroplane' – it's just an Earth word for these big machines that we use to fly in – we don't have wings or Pegasuses or magic, after all."

"A contraption jus' like Pinkie would make?" Big Mac whistled.  "Sound's downright amazing!"

Soarin was unimpressed. "Aw, you've never really flown until you've flown as Celestia intended – on a wing and a prayer!" He pumped his powerful wings by way of demonstration.

I nodded in feverish agreement. "Oh, I'd love to – but I guess it'll never happen." I flapped my arms. "No wings!"

"We've got magic to sort that out," said Big Mac. "Ah'm sure Twi'd be more th'n happy ta cast that spell on you that'd…"

Soarin glared at the larger stallion and hissed: "I was thinking more of taking Connie here flying on my back!"

Big Mac's gorgeous green eyes bugged out. "Ah see!" He slipped over and whispered into Soarin's ear, but I was still close enough to catch what he said. "Better not let AJ hear about it, though. You know she's mahty sweet on yer!"  

Soarin looked offended. "It's just a ride!" he said. "It's not like I was suggesting we…" He suddenly blushed crimson. "Wait, do you think that that would even be possible? Can ponies and… humans – you know?"

I blushed as well. "Ah, I'm not really sure," I said. But I thought it best to change the subject. "So who did you guys come with? I guess you're both 'plus ones' as well?"

Big Mac nodded. "Ah'm here with Fluttershy and Soarin's with AJ," He turned a hard glance on the Pegasus when he said the last two words.

"But it's not like we're all dating or anything," said Soarin to me quickly. "It's just a friendship thing." He turned to Big Mac. "Just like Big Mac's not dating Fluttershy, and Twilight's definitely not dating Caramel."

Big Mac sighed. "That Twi. She has nah idea that Caramel is melting away for her, poor colt!"

Now was my chance to ask the question that had been playing on my mind! "What about Spitfire and Rainbow Da-" - but I was interrupted by the sudden, insistent ringing of a bell.

Butterscotch's Adventures in Equestria Part 3

After crashing Princess Luna's party on the Moon, Connie finds that meeting the mane six and their friends is not quite what she expected!
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Fridel2 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012
Ahaha, I'm cracking up about Big Mac as a baker X)
Born-of-Wolves Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Buttersc0tchSundae Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Moar coming soon, Born-OfWolves! :D
Born-of-Wolves Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yay! :D
00Davo Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2011
Why would Twi ask a date to a party hosted by Princess Luna? Clearly, y'know, Princess Luna will be there…
Buttersc0tchSundae Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Hoho! I'm afraid in this universe I don't ship TwiLuna - I think it's Twi-Caramel (at least Caramel hopes it's Twi-Caramel! ;))
Vashthepsicho Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2011
´scuse my ignorance, but where did Caramel came from?
Buttersc0tchSundae Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
He's Twi's date! Everypony was allowed to bring a +1 - try and work out who everyone's is!
Vashthepsicho Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2011
no, I mean, really who is he?
is he an OC?
00Davo Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2011
Caramel Apple. He was in Applejack's relative list in the first episode, and has made a few appearances since (he lost the grass seeds during winter wrap-up).
madman12000 Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2011
Awesome, so jealous - gonna have to find me a way to get there too ;)
Buttersc0tchSundae Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Just follow the ritual, madman! :D

Warning: ritual may not actually work.
madman12000 Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2011
:( I said Candyman instead /die

stupid disclaimers
LightningTheV2 Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
"So, are Twilight and Rarity and Fluttershy and Rarity there as well?"
Two Rarities? Oh gawd...
still, brilliant story. :D
Buttersc0tchSundae Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Er, whoops! I'll go back and fix that.

I must have a thing for Rarity.... :iconbutterscotchshrugplz:
LightningTheV2 Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I didn't notice it at first either, because I skip a few words sometimes, it's not that noticeable. :iconrarityishappyplz:
DeadEye-0X Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2011
part 4 soon i hope?
Stinger-VXR42 Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2011
Of all the ponies in Equestria, Soarin' has to come on to you. xD

Seems you have a friend in AJ though... don't want to upset her though...


Pony threesome? :D
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011
So much shipping! All the ships! All of them!

Pinkie IS super adorable. Especially when you write her. Her concern over her big butt is heart-wrenchingly cute. :D And pony licks~

You make me want to hug them even more.
Buttersc0tchSundae Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I just write what I find cute, and big-butt Pinkie is adorable! (but completely unsupported by canon - unless that "fudge pudge budge" thing indicates that she gets fat at times!)
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2011
Pudgy Pinkie is too adorable for words. Not fat, just a healthy coating of pudge that gives her cause to worry adorably about her adorable butt. It makes her more huggable~

I think her and Twilight are in the running for 'biggest butt', if 'Winter Wrap-Up' is anything to go by. Though Twilight's would be because she'd have big hips, or mindlessly eats when she reads. Or both~

Pure speculation, but fun all the same~
diegetto Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011
Dear Buttersc0tchSundae,
we have kidnapped Pinkie Pie. If you want to see her again and without injuries, i suggest that you finish this soon, provided that the quality or quantity of the fan fiction is not reduced by it.


Your friendly neighbour, RandomKidnapper.
Buttersc0tchSundae Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Oh noes! :iconpinkiepiehorrorplz: But there are like 10 more parts!
KittyKittaj Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I have to be honest: I was a little nervous coming into this knowing that it mixed humans and ponies, but OH MY GOD I FEEL LIKE A SCHOOL FILLY WITH NEW RIBBONS. *impatiently flails about, waiting for the next installment*
Buttersc0tchSundae Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Glad I could tempt you to the dark side of the fandom, KittyKittaj! :D
HunterXDante Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011
I knew I shouldn't start reading this until it was finished! I want to read much much more, and I really wish that last question had been addressed (what a tease). Keep up with the good work!
Buttersc0tchSundae Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Not long until Part 4 comes out, HunterXDante! Thanks for reading. :iconpinkieishappyplz:
hardcorecrispy Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2011
Confound this Buttersc0tch, she makes me want part four!
rockman08 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Traveling at the speed of pinkie, breaking the laws of physics

confirming equestrian filly-fooling,

Flirting with Soarin

and on top of THAT, you gave octavia some spotlight?!


thats it...
I love you...
Buttersc0tchSundae Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I tried! :D

Also, I love "The Speed of Pinkie"! :icontwilightheeplz:
rockman08 Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
That would be convenient to move like that ^^;
Innak Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2011
From Kkat:

I am enjoying this way, way too much! I eagerly look forward to each new chapter.

Regarding Chapter 3:

I love the imagery you have created for the moon. You have exceptional skill at creating this cartoon-like, color-saturated alternate reality. Gold and silver dunes. Moonflowers. I adore the fact that the moon is utterly unlike our real moon but rather a place out of pure fantasy.

The descriptions of the world, such as the extremely layered tastes, is rich and beautiful.

"Wait, I'm making sense? Oh no! Don't tell me I'm losing my Pinkie Pie Powers!" That sort of strange self-awareness from Pinkie Pie is gleefully surprising.

The way Pinkie Pie "crashed" the party was amazing. I was a little worried for them.

Extra-Equestrials. Perfection!

Having Rainbow Dash be intimidating in person was a really nice move. (I'm also rooting for the implied Dash/Spitfire paring here!)

Crusades? Wow, it has been a while! This upcoming tea party will be very interesting.

Love the occasional dissonance between the reality Connie is experiencing and the fan-built concepts, as exemplified by Pinkie Pie not knowing "Octavia".

On a very similar note, I also really enjoy how Connie is having to struggle with what preconceptions about humans she should correct and what she should just go with. Dirt, indeed! Her little near-slips are telling.

I must admit, I spent time on the way to work last night thinking of how I would try to explain human's "magic" to a skeptical and insightful Twilight Sparkle.

It is a wonderful move to have the ponies find the way human skin feels to be as pleasant and exotic as we imagine they must feel.

Time with the bucks was nicely done. I liked the interplay between Big Mac and Soarin. Particularly: "Please don't do that, Soarin," and Big Mac looking out for his sister's heart.

Can't wait for the next part!
Buttersc0tchSundae Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Hey kkat!

It still gives me shivers to know that you're reading this frivolous little series and actually enjoying it! :) Part 5 will see me trying to replicate the insanity of dreams - wish me luck!

And thanks for being our inbetween, Innak! :thanks:
DeathNight78 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2011
I think ANYONE would squee at those kinda sights and seeing it in person.
Also, has anyone told you that you are REALLY good at analogies?
Buttersc0tchSundae Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Analogies? Really?

Which one did you like, DeathNight? I'm intrigued! :iconmlppinkiepieplz:
DeathNight78 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2011
Well, in this one I liked the roller coaster comparison and the description of Luna's smile towards everyone.

I think it gives more feeling to the story when there are things we can compare them to.
MagicaITrevor Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
*Breathes in* Patience... *Breathes out* Dignity... *Breathes in* Always dignity... *Breath explodes out* * DIGNITY! I want a the next chapter NOW! (Well, not NOW now, but eventually would be nice! XD)

This fic has The GREAT and POWERFUL Trevor's seal of approval! (For now, at least! XD)
Buttersc0tchSundae Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Glad to hear you're enjoying the story, zidanewaterflower! :D
MuffinHunterX Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
My squeeing noises continue!

Still lovin' it. Sorry I don't have much to say otherwise.

Love and support and all that though.
BronyBeforePony Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
These are the kinds of stories that are wanted after, i dont know how to describe it perhaps magic but that seems too base and fantasy can often be rejected because a social stigma. It makes me question my own sanity because i so often want to blur the lines of reality between my world and the one contained in your story, its the great irony of believable fiction to me at least, i couldnt imagine humans and ponies behaving any other way then what is presented here. The honesty of connie blushing when pinkie slipped underneath her was a nice touch, thats guts. Awesome job, of course.

To be honest if had rarity slip underneath me i would be at least mildly aroused
Buttersc0tchSundae Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Nah, everyone wants to escape the real world! Ponies, BronyBeforePony! Ponies! :D
BronyBeforePony Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Pangolynn Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2011
"One could scarcely accuse you of ever dressing in style, Rainbow Dash."

Libelous! Rainbow Dash ALWAYS dresses in style.
Buttersc0tchSundae Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
She sure does...
G3 Dashie, though. :\
ComputerHardDrive Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2011
Can NOT wait for the next part!

I hope it comes soon!!
CallMeVexed Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2011
I really look forward to the next part, I'm really enjoying it.

And unrelated to this specific story: I love your erotica. Hot and alluring, but not over-the-top or smutty. Very classy really. Love your work.
Buttersc0tchSundae Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks so much, CallMeVexed! I've always been of the philosophy that erotica can and should be classy and funny and sexy rather than just pornographic.
rockman08 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Exactly! because if it's pornographic, then it's just... well... porn...
Buttersc0tchSundae Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Porn has its place, but it can be soooo boring at times. :/
rockman08 Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
and THAT's where erotica, and writers like YOU come in.

You jump in and make the porn not-boring :D
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